It's not easy being green, Kermit the frog proclaimed some years ago. Today, I would proclaim, it's not easy to be a pacifist. It is not easy, often misunderstood, not necessarily popular, and even at times somewhat lonely. So it is because we as a nation at this moment in history revel in macho militarism and a bring 'em on mentality.

We have become a people fearful, anxious, and full of hostility and without faith. We are out of balance. We are people out of control. A nation turned inward, but yet hostile, aggressive, obsessed with our own safety. Our lives are filled with a superficial patriotism that hides under a new doctrine of Imperial America over all.

But enough political commentary. We are bombarded by way too much of it anyway. The media. especially talk radio and some entertainment news, constantly fill us with prejudice, anger, and hatred. Enough.

Here I want to share a personal journey of an ever-deepening passion to living a life of pacifism. And that I am. I proclaim it openly and loudly. I am a pacifist. I am such of long standing. My parents instilled the friendly persuasion of pacifism in my heart many years ago. By the time I was sixteen, I knew I could not support war and war-making.

My father especially for as long as I can remember, opposed war, injustice, and militarism. He was deeply active in the civil rights movement in the 50's and 60's. He spoke out against U.S. involvement in Vietnam from the moment President Kennedy sent military advisors into that far away land. He traveled the world over speaking of the necessity of peace.

I remember traveling through Europe with Dad and Mom in the late 1950's on a mission of faith and world peace. Deeply rooted beside my parents conviction and actions were the teachings and example of Martin Luther King, Jr. From my early formative days, I resonated with the words of Dr. King. He preached "love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend."

Dr. King proclaimed words that are central to the heart of my convictions. King preached:

Love is the most durable power in the world. This creative force, so beautifully exemplified in the life of our Christ, is the most potent instrument available in mankind's quest for peace and security.

Since I was a teenager, I have passionately believed in the words of Jesus to love your neighbor, to love the stranger, and to love your enemies! Such powerful love is at the heart of my conviction to live a life of pacifism. I am against war. I am opposed to the making of war. I do not believe that the waging of war is a constructive, positive solution to disputes, differences, or disagreements between nations.

Dr. King calls us to remember the ultimate power of love, compassion, and reconciliation:

Those of us who love peace must organize as effectively as the war hawks. As they spread the propaganda of war, we must spread the power of peace. We must combine the fervor of the civil rights movement with the peace movement. We must demonstrate, teach, and preach, until the very foundations of our nation are shaken. We must work unceasingly to lift this nation that we love to a higher destiny, to a new plateau of compassion, to a more noble expression of humaneness.

Warfare is a parasite of the foulest kind; it starts out small and often with broad support. It has to replicate itself in order to survive, and poisons all that is healthy and whole around it in the process. Then come death and hate and violence and more death. Then it takes years and years and even generations for the damage and destruction to be loved away.

I believe this to be especially so in these sad moments of history since our invasion of a sovereign nation and the ongoing destruction of the nation and people of Iraq. It will take as much as a generation to love away the damage, destruction, and violence exploding in Iraq today.

To be a pacifist in a culture of might, aggression, and retribution is dangerous, lonely and difficult. Since the fall of 2002, I have found myself moving from moments of high, hopeful emotion to lows of sadness, despair and feeling a heavy sense of failure. A feeling of failure, because we (I) could not stop the invasion of Iraq.

Being a pastor and somewhat public person, I experienced much support and encouragement, as well as hostility, anger, and some hate mail. A high moment over these difficult months was the opportunity to speak at the January, 30,000 person peace march in Portland. As we gathered and marched by the thousands, a sense of hope and strength filled our hearts, if only for a few brief hours.

Contrast this high moment of affirmation, with an emotionally charged moment when my pacifism was challenged by one filled with anger simply because I was a pacifist. I could see his eyes full of hate toward me personally.

Throughout my adult life, I have been deeply committed to take most seriously the teachings, example, and invitation of Jesus. Actually, since a teenager, at Suttle Lake Methodist summer camp, I have been on a journey of following carefully the ministry and life of Jesus. Jesus taught and practiced love, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Jesus taught us to love everyone, even our enemies. Jesus commanded above all else to love God and love all humankind. Love and pray for our enemies. Turn the other cheek, go the second mile, and always forgive.

I believe that Jesus' commandment to love is just that. We have no other option, no other choice, no other action. We must, in all ways, with all people, in all situations, be loving. This is true of nations as well as individuals.

Also, I believe that the redeeming love of Christ known on the cross is the most powerful force in the universe. Redeeming love overcomes all, it even overcomes hatred, military might, international disputes, and all forms and forces of evil. There is absolutely nothing more powerful and transforming than God's redeeming love.

I recall the words of Gandhi: Whenever you are confronted by an opponent, conquer him with love. And the words of Jesus ring deep in my heart: "Love everyone, love even your enemies!"

It is a challenge for a pastor to be a pacifist. It is a challenge for a pastor who has become a very public figure, to share his faith and convictions, and not be misunderstood or to do harm to the communal life of his/her church. But we must remember, the Gospel does not call us to be careful; the Gospel of Christ calls us to be faithful.

Recently, I sent a letter to our US Senators from Oregon. The letters were short. They were as follows:

"Dear Senator, In this war, in this deadly war, again humanity has lost. When will the killing be enough?"

Everyday, I keep asking myself, how many more will die? How many will be enough?

The sadness of war goes deeper into the heart as each day passes. A pacifist senses this sadness in deep and powerful ways. Seeking to understand, and to speak out in many ways is a need of one who opposes war. To do this I continue to write, speak, preach and even seek solace and assurance in the writing of poetry. Here is one such poem:

Wretched, dreadful is war,
If only to love.

To chose to kill,
to harm, to maim,
if only to love.

So sad the men and
women, who fight
and mourn, and
die.

Such life for them,
will never be the
same.

If only to love,
What could we be then?

And this warring,
Hatred, then
no more.

Long, long ago the prophet Isaiah had a vision that I still believe will one day come to fruition. The prophet proclaimed-that war someday will be no more. One day we will beat our swords into plowshares and our spears into pruning hooks. The nations will no longer rise up against other nations, and yes, above all else the day will come when we will no more study war or glorify war or plan for war or even consider war as a possibility.

At the heart of the ministry of Jesus is the Sermon on the Mount. The Sermon on the Mount is built around the Beatitudes. One of them is: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God." Note Christ's term: "peacemakers!" Peacemaking, the hard, rugged action and attitude of making peace; the slow, painful business of negotiation and reconciliation. Jesus, himself was a peacemaker. He broke down the wall of partition between human beings. He destroyed barriers of sin and alienation between God and humankind.

The journey of pacifist entails travel through many oases of nourishment and discernment. For me, the journey has involved a constant seeking to understand God's will. I have done this through prayer, Bible study, fasting, meditation, and submission. My journey has also included extensive reading of many Christian ethicists, church history, numerous theologians and church doctrine. Regular and thorough involvement and participation in worship is most essential. Worship is the experience and the event where we encounter the living God and receive insight through the Holy Spirit.

Central to my journey is extensive reading and the encountering of the life, teachings, and actions of Jesus. At the heart of my pacifist journey stands the Jesus of history, who held up the power of love as the greatest power in the universe. Finally, I affirm that every position of faith and action and belief must be always evaluated from the perspective of God's redeeming love in the Cross of Jesus Christ. Redemptive love is our continual guide and evaluator of faith and practice.